Well , The title says it all , Its not Easy to be Me. You See, Everybody is special. I mean Each and Every One out there is special whether they are reading this or not, I just don't give a damn...
Everybody is a hero, a lover, a fool, a villain. Everybody has their story to tell and Irony is that Happiness is the most insidious prison of all where one dreams of getting in and out wearing a Mask to cover up what they really are on the inside.They disguise themselves cos they fear rejection and the mistakes of their past. Well, I DO,They say the past doesn't hurt you , unless you let it. Sadly, that's not true. It haunts u day in and day out, lurks in the darkness of your shadow and soul,waiting to pull you down, patiently scheming and Baamm !!, u r down with the bullet. To protect thyself , We Ought to Wear the Mask for so long and That makes you forget who you are beneath.I'm one of those few people. I'm also one of those in this cruel world, who prefer solitude and can withstand it. Yes, I prefer Loneliness more than wondering where the hell do I belong ??
Growing up watching the superheroes , I used to wear a cape on my back and play pretend. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a Plane , I'm Superman is what i used to say. It was simple back then when i didn't know that it just an imaginary world and in reality even heroes bleed. It turns out I still play pretend with my life , disguising my true identity and be just a silly guy in a funny red sheet looking for special things inside of me. I'm tired of putting on a fake smile on my face everyday as I walk out my room. Dreams and Hopes lie shattered. Expectations have Piled up only to make you realize that u r down in the gutters and u can't do a f...ing thing that u have to .Yes , I'm sad and lonely and yet I don't find any tears coming out. I feel hollow inside , I feel that I'm crying so hard but where are the tears i wonder.!! Living up to those expectations is something I could do When There was this side of me , used to believe that I could achieve whatever I wanted in my life by working towards it with all my heart and I wanted only the things I deserved , Nothing more and Nothing Less. Used to Smile From the Heart and Used to fell Happy that I'm making at least a few happy. I Used to know what I could do and What I couldn't do is something i have to work on and make it happy. This is me and I no longer able to find that side of me. I tried digging deep only to find Kryptonite and in the process I started killing myself , Losing faith in all those around me and Losing the courage to fight on. I labelled myself as a Failure in the game of emotions that life puts you through with people in it who betray you and who heed to you.
Ever since that, I have been nothing but the one u see now. I'm not Me , well i try to be and I just don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position I'm in .I know I'm making no point here but just sulk this is how my life has turned out to be ..I don't have any complaints on anybody but myself . I f...k Don't deserve anything which i haven't worked for or fought for to earn it. I do feel that I have to man up , find myself the courage to face it all but there's this guilt in my heart I'm putting up with everyday that makes me think I'm the smallest person in the world who just doesn't deserve anything and that kills me even more. I'm Clear now that I am at the crossroads of Life and I Don't have to cover much distance before I end my Journey and in that short distance I'm yet to travel , I just hope that there comes a time where I would feel I'm somewhere I belong. Somewhere where I can live with this guilt I'm carrying everyday and finally adios with a true smile from my heart....
Everybody is a hero, a lover, a fool, a villain. Everybody has their story to tell and Irony is that Happiness is the most insidious prison of all where one dreams of getting in and out wearing a Mask to cover up what they really are on the inside.They disguise themselves cos they fear rejection and the mistakes of their past. Well, I DO,They say the past doesn't hurt you , unless you let it. Sadly, that's not true. It haunts u day in and day out, lurks in the darkness of your shadow and soul,waiting to pull you down, patiently scheming and Baamm !!, u r down with the bullet. To protect thyself , We Ought to Wear the Mask for so long and That makes you forget who you are beneath.I'm one of those few people. I'm also one of those in this cruel world, who prefer solitude and can withstand it. Yes, I prefer Loneliness more than wondering where the hell do I belong ??
Growing up watching the superheroes , I used to wear a cape on my back and play pretend. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a Plane , I'm Superman is what i used to say. It was simple back then when i didn't know that it just an imaginary world and in reality even heroes bleed. It turns out I still play pretend with my life , disguising my true identity and be just a silly guy in a funny red sheet looking for special things inside of me. I'm tired of putting on a fake smile on my face everyday as I walk out my room. Dreams and Hopes lie shattered. Expectations have Piled up only to make you realize that u r down in the gutters and u can't do a f...ing thing that u have to .Yes , I'm sad and lonely and yet I don't find any tears coming out. I feel hollow inside , I feel that I'm crying so hard but where are the tears i wonder.!! Living up to those expectations is something I could do When There was this side of me , used to believe that I could achieve whatever I wanted in my life by working towards it with all my heart and I wanted only the things I deserved , Nothing more and Nothing Less. Used to Smile From the Heart and Used to fell Happy that I'm making at least a few happy. I Used to know what I could do and What I couldn't do is something i have to work on and make it happy. This is me and I no longer able to find that side of me. I tried digging deep only to find Kryptonite and in the process I started killing myself , Losing faith in all those around me and Losing the courage to fight on. I labelled myself as a Failure in the game of emotions that life puts you through with people in it who betray you and who heed to you. Ever since that, I have been nothing but the one u see now. I'm not Me , well i try to be and I just don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position I'm in .I know I'm making no point here but just sulk this is how my life has turned out to be ..I don't have any complaints on anybody but myself . I f...k Don't deserve anything which i haven't worked for or fought for to earn it. I do feel that I have to man up , find myself the courage to face it all but there's this guilt in my heart I'm putting up with everyday that makes me think I'm the smallest person in the world who just doesn't deserve anything and that kills me even more. I'm Clear now that I am at the crossroads of Life and I Don't have to cover much distance before I end my Journey and in that short distance I'm yet to travel , I just hope that there comes a time where I would feel I'm somewhere I belong. Somewhere where I can live with this guilt I'm carrying everyday and finally adios with a true smile from my heart....
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