Its Not Easy To Be Me

                Well , The title says it all , Its not Easy to be Me. You See, Everybody is special. I mean Each and Every One out there is special whether they are reading this or not, I just don't give a damn...
Everybody is a hero, a lover, a fool, a villain. Everybody has their story to tell and Irony is that Happiness is the most insidious prison of all where one dreams of getting in and out wearing a Mask to cover up what they really are on the inside.They disguise themselves cos they fear rejection and the mistakes of their past. Well, I DO,They say the past doesn't hurt you , unless you let it. Sadly, that's not true. It haunts u day in and day out, lurks in the darkness of your shadow and soul,waiting to pull you down, patiently scheming and Baamm !!, u r down with the bullet. To protect thyself , We Ought to Wear the Mask for so long and That makes you forget who you are beneath.I'm one of those few people. I'm also one of those in this cruel world, who prefer solitude and can withstand it. Yes, I prefer Loneliness more than wondering where the hell do I belong ?? 
    Growing up watching the superheroes , I used to wear a cape on my back and play pretend. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a Plane , I'm Superman is what i used to say. It was simple back then when i didn't know that it just an imaginary world and in reality even heroes bleed. It turns out I still play pretend with my life , disguising my true identity and be just a silly guy in a funny red sheet looking for special things inside of me. I'm tired of putting on a fake smile on my face everyday as I walk out my room.  Dreams and Hopes lie shattered. Expectations have Piled up only to make you realize that u r down in the gutters and  u can't do a f...ing thing that u have to .Yes , I'm sad and lonely and yet I don't find any tears coming out. I feel hollow inside , I feel that I'm crying so hard but where are the tears i wonder.!! Living up to those expectations is something I could do When There was this side of me , used to believe that I could achieve whatever I wanted in my life by working towards it with all my heart and I wanted only the things I deserved , Nothing more and Nothing Less. Used to Smile From the Heart and Used to fell Happy that I'm making at least a few happy. I Used to know what I could do and What I couldn't do is something i have to work on and make it happy. This is me and  I no longer able to find that side of me. I tried digging deep only to find Kryptonite and in the process I started killing myself , Losing faith in all those around me and Losing the courage to fight on. I labelled myself as a Failure in the game of emotions that life puts you through with people in it who betray you and who heed to you. 
Ever since that, I have been nothing but the one u see now. I'm not Me , well i try to be and  I just don't know how or why or when I ended up in this position I'm in .I know I'm making no point here but just sulk this is how my life has turned out to be ..I don't have any complaints on anybody but myself . I f...k Don't deserve anything which i haven't worked for or fought for to earn it. I do feel that I have to man up , find myself the courage to face it all but there's this guilt in my heart I'm putting up with everyday that makes me think I'm the smallest person in the world who just doesn't deserve anything and that kills me even more. I'm Clear now that I am at the crossroads of Life and  I Don't have to cover much distance before I end my Journey and in that short distance I'm yet to travel , I just hope that there comes a time where I would feel I'm somewhere I belong. Somewhere where I can live with this guilt I'm carrying everyday and finally adios with a true smile from my heart....

               Broken Dreams,Shattered Hopes and the Stalemate Pursuit of Happiness which makes you feel that there is no ' I ' in Happiness , These words make the emotions that are Inevitable in our Lives . Growing up, we have always wanted to grow up faster, always wanted to have things that our Parents had which we didn't. Like when i was 12 ,I wanted to grow a mustache and be cool like my Dad and I'm Pretty sure that I'm not the only one with such funny wishes. But little do we know then that Growing up is something that kills the kid inside. It introduces us to the world, to its bittersweet harsh realities that makes us wish we wanna grow back to being a kid again. Our Parents always protected us, They taught us everything but they didn't teach us how hard life can be without them protecting us and how broken a heart can feel. Its irony yet true that the Hardest part is to Wake up when you are Dreaming with a Broken Heart.
               Waking up from the Dream of a Broken Heart is something that we should do ourselves, it is not something that is taught to us and it is definitely not something that someone can help you through all the way. Our heart is never meant to be played like a Thing.But when it is played with, It gets broken, ripped off and torn , its as simple as that and that leaves our life completely different than what we had before that happened. Love in our Life is unconditional but the relationships are not. As undeniable as it can be, Life is more than Friendship and Love, though those are the only things which matter to us. The World is never gonna be all sunshine and rainbows , It does indeed have a cruel nasty shade to it. It keeps hitting you, It keeps bringing you down on your knees and if you let it, it will keep you there forever. Experience teaches us that in the end it doesn't matter how hard we get hit but its how we take it and get on with it and move forward. No pain No gain and It's really hard for us to notice where we are going right now with our life filled with 90% monotony and 10% excitement. If you know what you are worth, then go out there and  get what you're worth. If you wanna get it , get hit and move forward never mind the pointing fingers. Those fingers belong to the worthless , They just point at you and say that you cannot do what they failed to do and They just whine on and on.Start believing in what's within you. Define yourself, Find yourself and don't let anyone stick a finger at you and tell you , you are no good.
                 I was lost within my own heart drenched with Fear, Lack of confidence and Fingers pointed at me saying I'm useless and not worth a shit, I took that hit badly, It brought me to my knees and It kept me there but it ain't gonna hold me down no more. I was lost everyday with nothing to hold on and I'm tired of waiting for someone to come and bring light to my world of darkness and each time I crawl out of it , I get stuck with people who pull me back into the shadows only to be enveloped by darkness once more. We all have had a broken heart and Its not the end of the World. When we find ourselves helpless, we do tend to search for something or someone to blame on and not on ourselves but it ain't supposed to be that way. Cowards do that and You know that you are better than that We should never be afraid to take the hit.Why don't we just come out and say Bring It On..Be who you are and not what this f******* world wants you to be. Never Lose yourself within the shadows of your own heart that is broken, Fix it, Glue it,Do whatever you are supposed to do to bring the You again , You are not dead yet remember that , Live just don't exist , Make every moment your own , Happiness is something to be pursued , pursue it , It comes from within, Find it and LIVE...
              

Our Lips May Lie, But Our Eye?

I was said " Everybody's Different, Just take a look around"
I did take a look and I realized 'Yes, Maybe We are Different'
'But Are we really ?' was the question running through my head over and over again .

If you take a look into the eyes of the person beside you ,
Their eyes mysterious, intense and deep ,will make you drown in the words and the emotions the Heart toils to open up.
It is true that  Nowhere can be found A Heart that doesn't have any unsaid words or emotions.
Those words never crosses our Lips but they always cross over the two True Friends of our hearts, 
Our Eyes .

They are
Quiet yet Expressive
Secretive but Tantalizing
Mournful and Bright
Questioning though Deceptive
  We just can't lay a finger on What does our Eyes really hold within !
It's like a Labyrinth of Hidden Histories , Unknown thoughts , Passionate dreams , Agony , Joy beyond our Conscience , Dark Distresses ,  Unfulfilled Wishes and Inconsolable Pain .
 
There are Eyes that hold you captive , They Haunt your dreams and kills you from within when you are in dire straits to see them again , Such are the eyes that steals away your heart . Such are the eyes that makes you fall in love.  There are no words to express the immense rush in adrenaline that makes U so happy from within , makes your heart beat so fast that u will skip a beat when you look into those eyes.
If you don't believe me , Look into his/her eyes whom you love the most .
If you still don't believe me , Look into your mother's eyes , at one glance , You will see all the Love that is within her heart for you

Our lips may very well Lie , but never will our Eyes. They penetrate deep into your soul and bring out the deepest of thoughts and feelings , A very glimpse of the beautiful nature around us , The Rainbows , Dew drops on Roses , The Sunrise and The Sunset , and many more . This is what makes our Life beautiful

And yet , We are the ones who are living in darkness , We never tend to realize how valuable are such precious gifts to us till they are out of our reach..
Can you explain what is colour to a visually disabled person?
Can you explain the feeling you get when you see the Sunrise or the Sunset to them ?
Tell me , can you explain ?? No , you can't . No one in this world can do that . Not even God .
But I can Make them see it , I will make them see every detail of this beautiful world , I Will make the Light shine upon their blinded brain .
I will donate my Eyes. 
Will you ??? 

THERE SHOULD BE A CHANGE

A Little Boy said " Mathematics ! Why Don't you grow up and solve your own problems ?"
It's quite very obvious that these are the same words  running through most of the students' minds out there !
For most students Maths is a Nightmare .. It's like watching the Evil Dead Movie but with thousand times more horror in it :) ( I know some of the people who like watching that nightmare everyday will laugh this article off )
But what gives , what I am going to say is the truth ...
It's not only maths , If you ask me I don't like the Education System of My Country..
It kills all the dreams , the aspirations and all the creativity of young hearts and minds .
I need the real meaning of education to be thought , but the fake as it is now ...
95% percent of the Indian Educated People never became what they dreamed they would be
Yes , it's true . Only 5% Broke the rules and achieved what they dreamed and in those 5 % ,  2% never got into any  professional courses ... Just looking at all the Chapters , all the books I have Now , I don't see many chapters that would interest me and Many will never have any use in our life after the exams are over...


I wonder what use do all the things we read now will have in the future


Differentiation isn't going to differentiate and eliminate any problems I will have in life,
Integration isn't going to integrate my money or my happiness to bigger sums ,
All the zebras in one place - The Algebra ,  I have no idea why I even read that ...
It isn't Just Maths ,


All the subjects that we were made to read and we ought to get into in coming years 
has no significance what so ever in our life .. Being Educated is being what u dreamt to be..
Live Your Dreams , Dream Big , These are the words you will hear from all those who achieved the greatest doing what they love the most .. This current society and education system is killing the creative world of children and young adults .. All the stress that is on our heads now , is the cause for many suicides ...
Why has it turned out to be a race ? No one knows , our elders made it , but we should not make the same mistake again when we get into the shoes of our elders , My wish is to create a system where dreams are our syllabus , If u have a dream , go and get it would be the motto , It should give the basic education and knowledge to realize the talents of one self and motivate their skills to achieve the things they love the most
For us these are the words which strikes a arrow through the path of our broken dreams
" We wear born to achieve , but education ruined us . It made what we are now , It broke us apart everytime by making us face the questions we are not interested in , It didn't really make us a success , but it made everyone who didn't live their dreams a Big Failure "




A humble request to all our elders , " Please teach us more about LIFE ,  don't make us go through all the integrations, differentiations , combinations , permutations ,  geometries , quantum physics , and what so ever "


To End this Long Boring article to many , Just hear me out , " Truth is always bitter ... Stop believing in maths and subjects which u don't like , Do what you feel is ur Talent , Be number one in it , and don't rest till U remain at the top till u retire "

He never knew he Loved Her

  He'd sat by her for days, for weeks, for months , he had sat by her all year 

  He'd never missed a day talking to her ,

  "Hold Her Hands and Never Let go " were the words that echoed in his mind 

   But he never did listen to those words ...

  For She had so much love on him , so much that could even bring the whole world on her feet 

  She asked him,"Why are you so cold to me ? Why?" 

  If only he had turned back at that moment, if he'd smiled and said Sorry to her.

  He looked at her , in his peripheral view , she looked like a kicked puppy , staring at the floor 

  He just turned away , trying to ignore the little voice in his head 

  "She's beautiful, and she likes you.Give her a chance" but he ignored it.

   When he rode the train , he saw the seat next to him empty , sitting there all alone was he 

   Just yesterday she'd sat there smiling back at him with all the love she had in her heart 

  He just moved away from her , he didn't smile back , he just gazed sulkily out the window

  He pushed her away. She looked so sad , but he didn't care .

  She did everything for him , but he didn't care .

  He got so locked on his thought and never did he give her a chance 

  Her Love was so immense that just showered like a storm upon him 

  He couldn't bear it , but all he did was ignore it .

  Yes , He broke her heart a million times by now 

  But she never gave up, maybe that's what people call True Love 

  Often He was startled by the sound of his voice  ' You Love her '

   He shook his head 'No' But he knew he was lying 

  He lied to her all the time saying 'No' to her , 

  But it was 'Yes' all along 

  She was so hurt that she nomore looked into his heart ,

  She couldn't hear what his heart was saying all along ..

  Yes, it's his fault , he'd been there, watched her , seen her sadness ,her loneliness

  like his , and he hadn't done anything . 

  She tried to get close , to feel wanted , and he hadn't allowed her that ,

  He didn't save her heart from breaking , He didn't save her ...

  Her Voice haunted his sleep , sometimes she was there too 

  smiling and holding his hand , she always led him to her cold gray stone in the cemetery, 

 Then she disappeared.. Her Sadness reappearing as she faded , but he always went with her .

 When He woke up , he would sadly stare at the mirror in front of his bed , 

 He stared at it till he saw her face and then he cried " I'm sorry , so so sorry , I didn't know i loved you , but i did , I loved you so much , but i couldn't let myself Love you " .

Then that sweet illusion would fade , and he'd be all alone again ,

' You didn't have to be alone , you could've had her ' the voice whispered 

He remembered everyday , every conversation , every time he stared at her lips, or listened to her soft voice, and every time he pretended she didn't exist , ' You should be happy now , now you don't have to pretend , she's gone ' the voice mocked him and he knew it was true , 

He felt it inside , the heavy cold weight of her loss , how he'd lost his chance of really loving her, 

if only , he hadn't ignored her , if only he'd let himself love her , a tear ran down his cheek as his voice said ' you killed her '  He now wishes he'd realized what she means to him , before she died , to him , because he never knew he loved her ..   

' I never knew that i was in love , and when i knew , it was too late .. I'm so sorry , I love you ' He said....

Itz The feeling of being loved that makes life worth living :) By Darsi

Life brings the utmost happiness when u see ur loved ones happy and living their dreams with u :)
That one second of true happiness,that feeling is all u would ever wish for in ur life for some like me :)
This is one moment that everyone should have in their lives :) 
On one wonderful night , u find urself walking along the shore alone , thinking abt that one special person u would wish,was with u at that moment . The silent cool breeze that touches ur soul , The sweet feeling of waves touching ur feet and the view of the beautiful moonlight falling upon the sea will make u wish their company even more... 
    At such dire moments , when u see that special person coming to u , I bet u would be the happiest one in the world :)

Now walking along the shore together , u would only wish that the time should stop , u would wish that the one kiss should be the end of ur Life, but she will hold u so dear that u will never feel alone... When she asks how much u love me ? Tell her u would love her for the whole world to feel jealous of her , tell her it will be ever felt like the stars up there , tell her that u long for her like the moon up there following u wherever u go. Tell her the way u feel , but don't Keep it within ur heart . Express it,But don't hide it .. Itz the feeling of being loved that makes life worth living :) just think abt it Love is for all who r there for u and will be there for u :)  -------BY Darsi

The One Guy You Should Never Be

There is this one guy who had everything he'd ever wanted,
He took it all for granted..
He didn't realize that his heart was so cruel
So Cruel that Even God was not allowed in 
He'd done things that he never wanted to do ,
He Lost His Soul in doing so ...
Ya He took it all for granted
so what gives he thought..
Now he looks back and thinks  "I don't deserve to Live"
He had everything..
He had the gr8est parents that anyone could get,
He had the love of the life,
He had the gr8est friends anyone could ever have,
But He screwed it all up..
Yes He Screwed it all up ...
He was insane
Never was he a good son
Never was he a good friend
Never was he a good lover
Never did he have a character that could be respected
He never did realize that everything he was doing was a mistake
but now those are the things that kills his heart everyday
He wishes to find happiness
but God doesn't give happiness to people like him
He gives him eveything but not happiness
He is not Blaming God for it and neither do i
It is he who done all the mistakes
He got so much love , but he never did realize the value
That there are thousands of people and thousands of hearts dying everyday
without the love of the parents
without the love of the friends
without the love of that special someone
He made the mistakes that no one should even think of
Now he takes the punishment
Its the feeling of regret and thought " Why should i Live ? Do i Even Deserve it ?"
He is a coward , Yes he is
Too Coward to even try resting in peace
But I say He is brave enough to keep Dying everyday 
He is not forgiven, Yes HE IS NOT
He now Prays to God To take him away
He deserves Hell but not Heaven
He deserves Hate But not Love
He deserves to be Burnt Alive
Not a human he is now
Not a heart but s*** now
He is not the person who he seems to be
He is not the person who u think he is
He is a Cheat
He has no character now neither hope to build it again
He Betrayed The Love he got from everyone special to him
Now He has Nothing In Life that makes him wanna live on
But all He Asks is something that cannot be given 
It is something He doesn't deserve
Forgiveness
He will forever walk with that broken heart which he created by his own Hands
So Never take Love for granted , There are thousands of hearts out there who miss it their whole life
Many are not blessed with the love of the parents
Many are not blessed with the love That is around Us
Plz Don't Just take it , Give it ..
Give it thousand times greater than what u got
Don't make the same mistakes That One guy Did
Even If u Don't Have Anything , Treasure the love u get......

The Words Unsaid - By Darsi

 My heart calls out ur name when i'm beside u,hoping that u would somehow realize that it Beats for u,
My eyes show to u that I cannot hide my love for u forever and that i can never take my eyes off from urz,
My lips fail to open up and say that i cannot live without u and say that u are all i ever wished for,
My hands tremble to the need to touch u,desperate for the day they might hold on to urz and never let go,
My soul chants that i would sacrifice myself for ur love and Its for ur taking..
I'm yours forever............. :) 

Don't Miss Love in Life

Love Happens once in a life time and Lives on forever :)
At ur first sight of this world, u see ur mother holding u in her arms
She plants the seed of love in u and nurtures it as u grow
Ur dad holds ur hand and takes u to places in this world
Teaches u how it is to be loved by everyone and how the world goes around
Then comes ur siblings , showing u the way it is to be done
Fighting with u and showing a different kind of love all along :)
Then comes friendship with all the smiles , with all the innocent and naughty gazes
and all the fun to be had and to have till the end of the life
But then We call LOVE as the feeling we have to our special someone
yes itz Love only  and that's special too :) do anything for it :) do anything to make it live and not to be lost :)
These are the things u can Never Miss In ur Life and U never should Miss :)

Friendship And Love -- The Answer For Everything [ Darsi ]

Life's a Big Question Mark for most people out there 
The answer is unknown till felt or experienced...

Love and Friendship happens for unknown reasons,
reasons not even God could give...
They just happen with the speed of light 
In no time u will find urself addicted to them...
Don't see love and friendship as two different parts of our lives, 
Love is friendship that blooms forever 
And Friendship is Love till the end 
They never die.......
Love and friendship can never be left out of anyone's life
I remember my first day of school ,
though my memory is all blurry
I only remember the small laughs and silly games played with my first buddies
I didn't choose them neither did they,
It just happened,That's how friendship starts in everyone's life
It just comes out of nowhere and Occupies a big space in ur heart
Back then having the biggest of smiles  will make u the most loved of all
Friendship becomes Our Life
It will be the only thing that we treasure  
The whole heart will be filled with it
Then comes Love,
Dont know How.. It too Gets into ur heart as magically as Friendship
Our mind separates them When our Heart is completely filled with both
But things change As we grow up
Life will leave u with a broken heart
Broken dreams and ambitions
Like a Single stone thrown at the mirror , Ur heart can be broken by anything thrown at u
At times like those to anyone , even a little care and affection will heal all their pain
Remember Life isn't life at all , when u have no love to give
Drench everyone around with ur love
Ur love will make a difference in many hearts
Keep Loving Till u die
U will definitely find the answer to ur life this way :) ---- By Darsi